3 Ways to Reclaim Joy After Using Social Media

I draw on personal experience when I mention the need to reclaim joy after prolonged use of social media. I can't tell you how many times I have "fasted" from Facebook over the past few years. I call it fasting because that seems to be the new name for taking a break from the madness of the continual stream of mostly negative, mind-sucking material that flows out of it.

Perhaps you're one of the 1.5 billion Facebook users, 420 million Instagram users, or 360 million X (formerly Twitter) users who can't understand that, after spending the average of 50 minutes a day on your social media platform of choice, you feel worse than you did before logging on. I couldn't understand it either until I realized how these forms of "keeping up with old friends" were sucking the joy out of my life.

My question needed an answer. So I asked, "How are some of the ways I lose joy from using social media?

Expectation

Certain expectations from social media can easily lead to feelings of rejection, heightened anticipation, and subsequent disappointment. Unfortunately, this expectation of performance leads to less joy.

~ Rejection

Every time (and I mean it when I say every time) I post a picture, or what I think is a great blog, or anything deeply personal on any social media platform where I have an account, I eventually feel rejection if it doesn't get the kind of attention I think it should. I know this happens to you, too. Because of the attention you're looking for, you feel rejected if people don't respond the way you expect. Especially overnight! I mean, indeed, all your friends retweeted that amazing video you posted, or commented and loved your most recent picture or status update within 24 hours, right?

Wrong. Along with feeling rejected, a little bit of your joy gets lost in the process.

~ Anticipation

Anticipation often goes hand-in-hand with expectation and subsequent rejection, as you anticipate that your posts, tweets, pictures, and comments will receive a wide range of love and support from other users and friends. When you use social media apps on your devices, you actively seek the ongoing expectation of being noticed.

I walked down that road many times. I felt the heightened sense of anticipation that "this time," I would get noticed. Anticipation, or heightened senses, can steal your joy because you're always looking forward to a specific response from people behind the screen. You miss out on the present, waiting for a reaction in the future.

Along with feeling anticipation, a little bit of your joy gets lost in the process.

~ Disappointment

I don't like feeling disappointed. (I don't think you want it either.) I also try not to put myself in situations where I think I might feel disheartened, but it still happens, of course. Since becoming a Facebook user in 2006, I have experienced more disappointment than I ever expected, and I couldn't understand why.

I believe you are experiencing some of the same feelings I've had in the past. Disappointment leads to a broken heart. I'm not sure about you, but I've had my share of broken hearts in life. But when you log on, read, comment, tweet, retweet, post, update, and live within the virtual social media world, disappointment has befriended you, and you cannot unfriend it. You expect specific reactions from certain people. When they deny those expectations, like in the case of rejection and anticipation, your heart breaks. In comes disappointment.

As you feel the sting of disappointment, you lose a small part of your joy in the process.

Negativity

Maybe you're like me. You are a positive person living in a hostile world. I experienced a negative family, but as a positive person, my attitude came out all negative because of the oppression of negativity. I wondered as a young adult how I could have ever been so positive, even in those situations. A wonderful pastor once reminded me that God's grace covers me.

Negativity permeates social media – if you're honest, you can say that is the bold truth. Just like when you were a child, adverse actions, language, and behavior profoundly influenced the personal outlook you had on the world around you. The world of social media continues to affect you in the same way. Negative thinking leads to adverse actions, which lead to negative consequences. But it all starts with the thinking!

What you see and read with your eyes gets into your thinking. The more negative thoughts you have, the more negative you feel. You start responding negatively, and eventually your relationships fall apart, especially your relationship with Jesus. How can you go to him and worship him with a negative heart and mind? It isn't possible. I've tried and failed many times. However, because God is merciful, I end up feeling lighter and more positive after being in his presence. But then I log on to Facebook. The entire process starts all over again.

The deeper it overtakes your life, the more pessimism contributes to the loss of a little bit of your joy.

Frustration

Frustration. Just a nicer word for anger. I'm sure you've seen a lot of anger on social media platforms. Some platforms seem more appealing than others, so anger is less noticeable. But talking specifically about Facebook (since it has the highest number of users to date), anger is right there in your face, and sometimes when you least expect it!

I maintain a calm demeanor (if you knew me years ago, you would probably disagree with that statement.) It has taken years of daily quiet time with God for me to receive the gift of calmness, so anger in any form feels like an assault. It's hard to scroll past all the anger on Facebook because it comes in so many different forms. You can't ignore the hate-filled meme or the video that automatically plays something horrible that happened to someone. It instantly instills frustration and anger within your very core.

"Somebody's gotta do something!"

"This shouldn't be happening!"

How many times have you felt this type of anger or offense rising in your heart? As I'm on social media too, I can attest that it is often the case.

The type of anger that has no biblical foundation can quickly replace what little joy you have left.

Ways to Reclaim Joy  

It is possible to reclaim joy in any situation, including the pleasure you have lost over the years from using social media. I have used these steps (not in any particular order) over the last few years. I must admit that my joy is now back. Social media no longer controls how I think and feel about myself and the world around me.

~ Take a Step Back

When I found myself in the quagmire of the above emotions, I knew I had to find a way out. The first thing I did was to take a step back and go dark on all social media platforms. I logged off, deactivated, and deleted accounts. Then I deleted the apps that littered my digital devices. This action made it harder for me to log in on those days when my addiction called to me to reactivate.

~ Find Truth

After clearing my mind of all the negativity, I took a deep breath and went in search of the truth. The only place to find absolute truth is in the Word of God. I had lost my joy. I was desperate to get it back. There was only one person in my life who could show me how, Jesus. I had to begin by acknowledging my real life, hidden in him (Colossians 3:3). Additionally, I needed to focus on heaven, not on earth (Colossians 3:2).

Once I remembered "whose" I was, it wasn't long before I noticed my mind clearing. Honestly, I was shocked that from almost day one, I was feeling more positive. It was then that God brought me to 1 Peter 5:8-11. It amazes me how important it is for this specific topic:

 "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen."

Seek God and His Word for perfect truth.

~ Log Back On

You may be surprised to hear that I suggest rekindling your relationship with social media. Well, before you jump right back into it, I have just a little bit more advice for you.

Log on, yes, but immediately go to the task of cleaning out. Do you need to have thousands of friends, or a bazillion followers? Who are your real friends? Who is following you? Who are you following? I have three words for you: delete, delete, delete. Unfriend, unfollow, unlike. (Sorry, that's three more words.) It's not against the law. Most people you friend and follow don't know who you are, so I promise you won't hurt their feelings. If it's about the numbers for you, then you need to return to the "Find Truth" section above and immerse yourself in God's Word again and again.

Once you've cleaned out, start surrounding yourself with the positive. When asked to become friends with someone, check out who they are and for what they stand before clicking yes. If possible, examine the types of tweets they retweet, the comments they make, and the pictures they post. Pray before clicking the accept button if you're unsure whether this person will help or hinder your joy. Stop going at it on autopilot.

It may be necessary for you to delete some of your social media accounts altogether. I look at it this way: if I'm spending more time on Facebook, for instance, than I'm spending alone with God on a regular, consistent basis, I need to delete it. There is a very real social media addiction, and, unfortunately, you may be a part of that. I hope not. If so, check into Christian-based addiction recovery programs that focus on social media addiction.

Conclusion

I can't say all social media is bad all the time. I mean, honestly, I use it

to promote Debbie Birdsall Ministries and this website. But, of the top three social media platforms, how many users, like you, are handling these avenues positively? Do you need to reclaim the joy that has been slowly eroded by expectations, negativity, and frustration?

Know that after you have suffered only a little while – whether that means suffering from a broken world or suffering because of what you put yourself through on social media – God will restore you. He will help you reclaim your joy.