6 Ways to Put a New Face on Pride

Debbie Mama Birdsall
6 days ago
7 min read

Updated: 8 hours ago

Pride is difficult to discuss for several reasons; it’s hard to face how pride replaces trust in God. Honestly, because of your pride, you don’t trust God. Certain faces of pride can be subtle, intertwined within other facets of your character, certain character qualities that are viewed as good or beneficial, which cause psychological blindness to the toxic character defect called pride.

This area of sin is delicate because the secular world doesn’t view your subtle forms of pride as bad or wrong. You have utilized certain aspects of pride to advance in your career. That’s how you got your new position. You seem successful. You’re making a sizeable income. You’re keeping up with those around you – you have a large house, a couple of new cars, a toy or two, and a respectable family. So why am I blabbing on about pride as a bad thing?

The problem is that self-reliance gets in the way of God's attempts to bless your life. When you protect yourself with pride, you’re cutting yourself off from the goodness and favor of God, the One who sees, hears, and knows you better than you know yourself.

It’s time to face the facts that pride isn’t just one thing. It has many facets or faces.

My Faces

I learned a valuable lesson about pride several years ago. I was surprised to discover that I had many pride masks I used in certain situations.. First, becoming aware of these faces was the first step toward change. Second, awareness encouraged me to listen to the Holy Spirit when he revealed times when I put on one of those masks. Becoming aware and listening to the Spirit began to humble me.

~ Boasting

I used the face of boasting to puff myself up. I wanted people to tell me how great I already knew I was. Excessive self-admiration and self-glorifying talk ruled how I communicated with others. I felt a deep-seated need to be noticed. Boasting has achieved this for me.

~ Showing Off

I used the face of showing off to gain attention. I craved attention and often sought it in harmful ways. Showing off doesn’t always mean you’re going to get the type of attention you desire. As a teenager, I subconsciously used attention-seeking avenues, which often ended in trouble. Yet, even showing off using comedy or outlandish behavior revealed this facet of pride.

~ Impatience

I used the face of impatience to prove how much better I was than everyone else, even people I didn’t know. I had a deep need to raise myself above everyone so that I would feel better about myself. This face of pride revealed the inner hatred I had toward myself.

~ Fault-Finding

I used the face of fault-finding as an attempt to filter out my sin. From a judgmental position, I always saw the mistakes in others. Fault-finding caused me to filter out the good in others. It was an easy way for me to justify my judgmental attitude toward others while ignoring my character defects.

~ Harsh Spirit

I used the face of a harsh spirit to hide my sins. I wanted people to see that I was perfect in all areas of my life. When perfectionism became my mantra, relationships failed. Because of my pride, I could blame the breakup on them instead of admitting my harsh spirit.

The face of a harsh spirit subtly joins with impatience and fault-finding. As a trio, this two-faced pride can damage relationships beyond repair, often because they are used behind the backs of people you encounter. But pride won’t give you space to like them anyway because of all their faults. In some twisted fashion, you feel you have the right to act that way.

~ False Humility Before God

I used the face of false humility to gaze at myself instead of the cross. My heart believed that my sins were too big for God. When I came into his presence, I had no confidence in the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I was lost without humble assurance. So, my prayers were hollow pleadings for Jesus to forgive the same sins I’d asked forgiveness for a thousand times before. All I could focus on was my sin, and not the salvation of the cross.

~ Neglecting Others

I used the face of neglecting others to blind myself to people I looked down upon. I wanted to ignore the ugliness in them that I saw in myself. It was easier to neglect the broken and hurting world since pride allowed me to believe I wasn’t broken or hurting.

I used all these faces in one form or another with family and friends, in past ministries, and in everyday life to survive. My childhood was not an easy one. To protect myself I invited pride in to protect me. When she (pride) was with me I could ignore the barbs, slings, and arrows thrown at me. I could repay painful insults because pride was standing with me. I befriended her. She never left me.

As I matured, I never divorced pride from my life. She started early and insinuated herself into every aspect of my life. I didn’t recognize it until years later, once she had caused years of massive damage. Over time, this accepted defense mechanism became a toxic character defect. The strength she gave me as an adolescent turned into total control of my life. I never realized how powerful her control had become until just a few years ago.

Facing Your Faces

Pride is a heart issue, a trust issue. The problem with your pride is that you are entrusting your heart to random fluctuations within you and from the hearts of others. The variability of this place creates instability.

~ What do I mean by that?

I mean you are searching for approval and praise from sources who may, or may not, give it to you. You are not looking to God for His approval. But here’s an essential piece of information: You are already approved! First John 3:7 says, “Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous.” Righteous in this passage means approved. As a child of God, you are already approved. You do not need the approval of humankind to survive.

Consider your job and the fact that you've recently been promoted to a new position. It makes you feel great when you are acknowledged for all your hard work. But when you work hard and don’t get recognition, you feel awful. You are feeling the fluctuation of the hearts of others. One day, they may appreciate your work, and then the next, they don’t. You are feeling the fluctuations of your heart as you anticipate and expect to always feel positive about the hard work you do. Your harsh, fault-finding, impatient spirit reveals itself. It reveals your heart. It reveals pride.

People's hearts change constantly, and they oscillate based on how they are feeling. Your heart fluctuates too for the same reasons and creates many new problems. That is why pride steps in to protect your fragile heart. You subconsciously entrust, or give, your heart away. When it gets hurt, pride comes in with her many faces to cover up your pain.

Pride starts as a positive defense mechanism that turns into a toxic character defect.

~ What can you do about it?

Hit the Reset Button

“Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit” (Romans 8:5).

~ Stop & Admit

Stop. Stop being dominated by your sinful nature. When you seek attention or approval, your sinful nature dominates your life. The only way to remove pride is by admitting it is controlling you. Admit it to God. Admit it to someone you trust. James 5:16 says we should confess (admit) our sins to one another. This is a great way to come out of denial and be held accountable by someone you trust.

~ Start & Submit

Start being controlled by your spiritual nature. Since you are now aware of the facets of pride, ask the Holy Spirit to help you submit them to God. Start by being willing to submit. It may seem challenging to just out rightly submit these areas of your life because of the length of time you have used pride to survive. However, practicing the art of submitting daily brings freedom through the mighty name of Jesus. Eventually, you will see changes in the way you think and act.

~ Recite & Memorize

Focus on scripture. Scripture leads to a more profound awareness of pride’s hidden effect. Take some time to write out some of the verses listed below. Read them often, if not daily, to remind yourself of the dangers of pride’s effect on your life and the lives of those around you. If possible, write them out on 3x5 cards and place them in locations where you can’t miss them. Pick out the ones that have the most meaning to you and memorize them.

Conclusion

Remember, pride finds its way into your life to protect you, often guarding you from emotional pain. It comes in as a shield and, although it can seem helpful at the time, stays as a controller. She takes control of your life by keeping you focused on yourself and not on the cross. It is up to you to make it leave. Right now is a good time to start helping it back its bags.